Let It Flow

It seems like since my post yesterday I have a lot to say but a lot of it is incoherent babble.

 

More and more, as I get further into this lifestyle, especially M/s, I see a direct correlation between dog training and slave training.  The Master is the alpha, the pack leader and the rest of us who aren't alphas are followers, or pack members.

 

The problem I find myself running into, it's a brick wall that I bang my head on constantly, is that I'm not wholly a follower though I crave the safety of the pack and I want/need to be a pack member.  I have a little bit of alpha in my personality make up and I'm always banging into it.  I'm guessing Alan probably feels like he's banging into that brick wall too when he tries to assert himself.

 

So how do I learn to stomp on the alpha part of myself and roll over and show my belly like a good submissive?

 

If you haven't guessed by now, we've watched a lot of the Dog Whisperer shows and I really do find a direct correlation from what he says to our M/s relationship.  Maybe I need that sound or hand signal from him that tells me I'm overstepping my bounds and that I need to get back into line.  I don't always know how to act and in that case the alpha portion of my brain takes over and says "I'm the Boss, screw him!"  The submissive portion groans in silence knowing the outcome isn't going to be pretty.

 

Being human though, I try to work it out instead of just acting on instinct as a dog would.  I try to actively focus on being pliable, open, submissive.  *sigh*  If anyone had told me how hard it would be to be a 24/7 slave I might have at least had second, third, and fourth thoughts before committing to this.  Naaahh, I can't back that up, it's the life I crave.  Total immersion in my Master's control.  I just wish the alpha portion of my brain would shut the heck up.