Character

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
Kahlil Gibran

 

This quote nearly made me break down in tears when I heard it.  The deepest, most genuine, and strongest people I know are those who've suffered in some way and come out the other side stronger for it.

 

Sometimes I think this is me, sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I look back at my past, then I see myself now and I am filled with wonder that I am the person I am after all of that.  I could have so very easily gone down the wrong path, taken the wrong turn, and I did take a few wrong turns but despite that my core was strong and good.  I've always known who I am, even while soul searching I knew.  It's a bit like archaeology, you have a good idea of what's there but you have to excavate, dust it off and clean it up to get a really good look at it.  That's how I've found different facets of myself.

 

I know I wouldn't be who I am today without yesterday's experiences.  Sometimes I'm conflicted about that.  There are some experiences I think I'd trade in a heartbeat, but each experience, each choice leads to a new experience and choice.  It's sort of like those books, you get to choose what happens next and don't know where your choice will lead until you've made it.  Unlike the books you can't go back and unchoose, if only life were that easy.  But if it were would we value it as much?  I don't think so.

 

I'm feeling very introspective today, it's dreary outside and raining.  The seasons are changing, I can feel it in my bones, in my soul.  I find myself looking forward to Fall, to Samhain and the chance to honor loved ones I've been missing.