Bone Weary

I sit here bone weary, barely able to keep my eyes open, I've had a busier day today than any other day in the last month. I saw Sir and we spent much good time together, he used me well and has left me marked and bruised. Lots of happy about that, it's been too long since I've felt an ache from being used so well. Once home I enticed Master into a before work quickie that was delicious. I don't know how the man does it but he hits the right spot with every thrust threatening to rip screams and growls from my throat when I must be quiet.

Oh but that wasn't enough for me, oh no. I decided I needed to work out. Really that's not up for debate I have to work out and strengthen my body and build muscle. So 20 minutes of upper body and core work on the balance ball followed by about 20 minutes of instructional Tae Bo. Holy COW am I exhausted and I just know I'm going to wake up aching tomorrow.

All of this is quick on the heels of sheer idiocy on my part. I got selfish and focused on my needs and how they're going unmet because Master is working 7 days a week and Sir's schedule is something else. Boo-hoo, poor me. I went mental and returned Sir's collar to him. I don't know what I'd hoped to accomplish but what I did do was hurt him deeply, show him the worst disrespect, and put our relationship on very shaky ground. I'm a moron sometimes. I wish I had some sort of alarm that would go off when I'm starting a 'bout of "lost my mind" so I can stop before I start.

Today was a blessing, having a few hours with Sir, being his to do with as he wished and attempting to serve with as much grace and humility as I was able. I'll never make up for the hurt I've caused but I hope I can at least soothe it a little and earn back his collar if he deems me worthy.

Okay, up to my room to practice some "slave positions" and then to bed with me and my heating pad.