I was craving change. I craved a major change, something to shake things up a bit; so, the thing to change? My hair. I told Master I wanted a new style. He responded with "It's your hair" which led to a small discussion about whose hair it really is. Since it's attached to my head, which is attached to my body, which ultimately belongs to Master; I asserted that it's his hair. What the discussion finally boiled down to was this, if he absolutely hated what I did with it, it would grow back and in the meantime I could wear a paper sack over my head. I just love his sense of humor.
So, I did it yesterday. I spent 15 minutes looking through style books and wavered back and forth between two hair styles, one that was similar to what I already had and one that was a drastic change. I took a HUGE deep breath and chose the drastic change. No gradual steps for me, no siree, I had to dive right in. As the stylist began to work on my hair I watched and wondered, "Is it too short? Will Master like it? Will I like it?" As my new style took shape it became hard to look at myself. I stopped looking like me. It was really a bizarre experience and one that filled me with just a wee bit of anxiety.
I have bangs again after several years of not having bangs and it now just barely brushes my shoulders when it's wet and doesn't really touch my shoulders at all when dry. It used to hang down near my bra line.
I spent the afternoon getting acquainted with my new 'do. I really like the way it looks when I have my sunglasses on. 'Course I'm not really looking at me then. I did take some time to stare at my image in the mirror; it just didn't look like me. It didn't look like the woman I'm used to seeing reflected back at me. I became more anxious then that Master wouldn't like this new 'do.
The first of our family to see my hair was our son. He asked me what I'd done and told me it didn't look bad, it just looked crazy. What does that mean??
Master was next to see my hair. He just stared at me for the longest time. He looked a bit bemused; I think he was a bit speechless. He told me it looked good, but that it was so different that it would take time to get used to it.
Master also remarked that I could probably pull off the young and innocent look now. Last week I had told him that I didn't feel I did it convincingly. I think now that a *lot* of it is my mindset. I never thought I was one whose identity was attached to her hair. With the long hair I felt mature, in control, I felt womanly and powerful. I feel exposed now, vulnerable even. This new haircut has really had a profound effect on me.
Master and I both are wondering how our friend J will react to my new 'do. In all the time we've known him he has never once suggested that I change my hair. This is really something when one realizes that he does this with nearly every submissive woman he meets. One of his kinks is transformation, he likes to take the diamond in the rough and polish her until she shines. He loved my hair the way it was.
Master loved my hair the way it was too. I wonder, since the change has had such an effect on me, if it will affect him.
