Extreme

He starts lovingly, suckling her nipples, building her arousal higher and higher. His cock, stiff with need, rubs against her inner thigh already dripping precum in anticipation of what is about to happen.

He stops suckling and looks at her, his eyes gone hard, cold, devoid of the tender side of him. The Sadist has come out to play. He slaps her face then grabs a fistful of her hair, right at the nape of her neck. He holds her in place while he slaps her breasts first the right and then the left. She struggles to hold still and accept the slaps for him, her cheek stinging and her breasts beginning to burn. He looks into her eyes and tells her what she's going to take for him, what she's going to do for him, then pulls her around the room by her hair, forcing her to bend following his hand as he lowers it to waist-height. She struggles but follows him, stumbling only once, then he throws her onto the floor and tells her to stay put. She struggles to her knees, not understanding what he is doing. He lands a backhanded slap against the opposite cheek and she looks up at him, defiance burning in her eyes, nostrils flaring. He chuckles, a low, humorless noise, then grabbing her hair he pushes her face down against the floor, places his foot at the back of her neck and holds her there. She struggles, her hands clawing at his leg until he handcuffs her wrists together behind her. She screams, cursing him... He kneels then, straddling her upper back, facing her upturned ass, his cock and balls resting heavily on her back. He begins to slap her ass hard, over and over, raining blow after blow against that soft white flesh. She squirms, trying to get away from him. She lets her knees go out from under her in an attempt to get away from the unrelenting beating. He follows her down and continues to spank her until her flesh is an angry red and is hot to the touch. She lies still beneath him gasping and sobbing, praying he is finished, knowing all the while that he's only just begun...

He climbs off of her and pulls her up to her knees as he stands in front of her. His cock is leaking copious amounts of precum, he growls an order to clean it off.. she licks and sucks at his cock as if she were starved for it. He grips the back of her head and forces himself deep into her throat while pinching her nose tightly closed. She begins to struggle, some small amount of panic setting in. Every other time he's done this she had her hands free so she could tap his leg to let him know she'd reached her limit. Would he let her breathe in time? She tried to calm herself, to relax, trusting in him. She couldn't control her body's struggles for air though... her lungs burned with need. He forced himself just a little further into her throat and then pulled out, letting her gasp for air...
***
I crave this type of play and more. I want him to use me, to allow me to be the vehicle for his pleasure. This is the cat and mouse dance of Sadist and prey, struggle, force, and acquiescence.

The outcome is always the same, I am worshipful, soft, vulnerable, wide open, and needy for his affection. Sometimes I crawl to the floor and kiss his feet, thanking him for his attentions. Sometimes I just lay limply in his arms, thoroughly exhausted and content.

On one of the e-mail lists I participate on the question was asked "What deepens your feelings of submission?" What I wrote above is it. Being used by the Sadist as nothing more than an object does it for me. It rips away all notion of self and selfishness, leaving a pliant servant in its wake.

In the long term I find myself searching for ways to improve my service to him or to improve myself for him. Honorifics are beginning to fall from my lips unbidden, unplanned, naturally. It feels natural to do so. In the past I've always felt self-conscious about using honorifics, it felt silly, unnatural. Not so anymore. I see this as just one sign of my deepening submission to him.

Tomorrow night we have planned a scene where Sadist and prey will play together. Some would call it a takedown scene, others would call it forced/rough sex or play rape. I just think of it as playing with the Sadist, the real Sadist. The one who doesn't care about my pleasure or discomfort. This Sadist gets off on my pain, screams, protests, and tears. He has no regard for my sense of propriety. To him I'm an object to be used and he uses me, brutally. Often while f*cking me he will force several fingers deeply into my bottom with no more lubrication than a coating of his saliva. He is growling behind me, his excitement builds with each scream he wrenches from my throat. I hold nothing back from him, I scream, wail, beg, and plead. "Please Master, please, please, please.." Sometimes I don't know if I'm begging him to stop or if I'm begging him to continue using me in any way he sees fit.

I hope he cuts my clothes off tomorrow night, I hope he cuts me, I hope it hurts. I want to bleed for him, I want him to feed from me, my blood or my milk... or both. *squirm* I'm rather aroused now... I wonder if he'll allow me an orgasm tonight?