Respect is the word of the week.
I've had a hard time with speaking respectfully this week. Things fly out of my mouth before I even take the time to think about them.
Master called me yesterday morning after I'd dropped him off at work, I was on my way home for a short nap before class. He'd forgotten his work keys and he needed them, I had to get them from home and bring them to him at work. It meant I wouldn't get the nap I wanted; instead of accepting that I became upset. I said "Oh come on! You've got to be kidding!" and I ended the conversation with "Fine I'll be there, good-bye." and I hung up the phone before Master could say anything else.
I knew as soon as the words were out of my mouth that I was way out of line. But I was in a snit because I wouldn't get the nap I felt I needed so I didn't apologize to Master and I barely amended my behavior when I dropped his keys off to him. Later yesterday afternoon I was snippy with Master on the phone again. This time he admonished me rather gently I must say. Despite the gentleness, it was enough to get my brain back into the driver's seat.
I've been so caught up in my own misery, stress, and concerns and I haven't been stepping out of myself to consider how my behavior affects Master. I can only imagine how I must appear to him, very unslavelike and ungrateful for the hard work he's putting in to keep our family afloat while I finish this term.
So, it's back to the drawing board for me. I am trying to internalize the things I've learned in Human Relations class these last two weeks. Control your emotions, don't let them control you. If I can manage to internalize this one thing, I will have gotten more than my money's worth from this class.
I would say the fact that I let my emotions rule me is one of the main things that hinders me as a slave. Having emotions isn't a bad thing, letting them control you is.
