Sunshiney Day

Well, okay it's not really sunshiney out, more like partly cloudy really but I'm feeling a lot more positive today. Master read my thoughts, read the e-mails I sent him where I poured my guts out, and we're making strides to reclaim our intimacy. It's been a good week so far, despite the lovely head cold I seem to have come down with.

However, this weekend will be tough, he's working the entire weekend, including Monday, and I'm going to visit the Tribe for the weekend. It'll feel strange being there without him but I really do need to get out for a bit, get away from home and get out of my usual stuck-in-a-rut routine. It's hard though, I want to be here for him, to greet him when he gets home from work, to just be with him even if all we're doing is sleeping in bed together.

My classes start up again Tuesday and I'm both excited about and dreading them. I'm as prepared as I'm going to be, the books are ordered and should be here by Wednesday at the latest. It's going to be a grueling schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will leave here by 8 a.m. and won't get home again until 8:30 p.m. I don't know how I'll cope yet, I'm going to have to figure out a way to bring lunches with me because eating in the cafeteria twice a week just doesn't seem practical. I have a lot of concerns about this term but I'm trying to take everything one day, and sometimes one moment, at a time. It'll all be worth it in the end, it has to be. It's do or die right now, either I do it and make it through these next two terms or I quit school and content myself with working customer service the rest of my life. Since I really, really, hate customer service work, quitting school isn't an option for me.

My surgeon's office isn't far from the auditorium where the college holds their commencement ceremonies. On Tuesday, while visiting the surgeon, I was in a room that had a view of that auditorium. While I waited for the surgeon to come in I stared out the window at the auditorium thinking, "Next year, we'll be there, I'll be graduating". That's what's motivating me now. Graduation, it's the prize that I'm bound and determined to win. I can't wait to walk that stage with my friends and loved ones watching and cheering me on.