Angry

I am frustrated and angry. I don't understand much of what is going on right now. He wants to change my personality but I have to wait until he gets around to telling me what is being changed and why. I'm supposed to be fully, and cheerfully accepting of him and his time limitations. Why should I when he won't reciprocate?

I asked him to consider renaming me since he's changing me into a different person. It makes sense to me. I'll be a different person and as such I should have a new name to go with the "new" me.

I'll never understand why, if he's not happy with me, he doesn't just find someone else more to his liking? I thought he liked 'me' for who I was. I guess I thought wrong.

Sometimes,like right now, I doubt my slavehood. If one of my Owners feels he has to change my personality, maybe that means I've failed him as a slave.

And now after a phone call I'm further confused. Apparently I had it all wrong. I'm not allowed to discuss the one thing that seriously upsets me. So dear blog, you get stuck listening to me.

I'm supposed to stop complaining. So I guess I will. I'll have to pretend to be thrilled when I'm left high and dry in the middle of playing and have to figure out how to do self-aftercare.

I'm just worn out. I'm tired of arguing. I'd like to have productive conversations. But anything I say that isn't sunshine and roses is taken as a complaint. Going with that logic, I should not complain ever.