Hopelessness, yes I feel that. But mostly just tired. I did my chore and have to exercise as promised to Sir. If I had not had the "to do" from Sir and from Master, I would not do. I would sit like a lump on the couch and watch Baz Lurhman's Romeo & Juliet over and over. I'm fixated on the movie today and if I could explain it I would.
"Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."I understand how she feels.
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.2
I do not want to exercise. I do not want to move. I do not want to cook dinner, I feel like the house drudgery slave, not in service to my Master but the house. There is no joy in this type of service. I cannot seem to find any joy in the day. I woke angry and took it out on Master. I don't care how understanding he is, it isn't fair to him. I don't think my crazy is under control.
If I have to smell the scent of cooked or uncooked chicken again I may just scream.
I'm off to do the rest of my "to do" or to at least contemplate doing it. But if I don't do it I will have to tell on myself and I don't want to do yet another disappointing thing.
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