Who Knew?

I've read and heard about eye contact restrictions and how it reinforces one's place within the scheme of a power exchange relationship.  Why doesn't anyone talk about how difficult it is?  It is so not easy to have a conversation with one's partner when one isn't allowed to make eye contact unless he desires it.  In the same turn when he wants that eye contact it's almost scary because it is quickly becoming a privilege to make eye contact.  I feel bared before him, vulnerable to him, when he puts a hand under my chin, exerts a little pressure upward and lets me look him in the eye.

This is not a gripe session or woe is me by any means.  I'm just musing, if you will, about this new aspect of my life with the Boss.  He has given me other rules to follow as well and I look at them as a privilege.  He took the time to decide what he wanted from his slave-in-training, wrote out these new "rules" (I think of them as new ways of relating and behaving), and took the time to explain them to her so there was no chance for confusion or misunderstanding.

However privileged I feel being given this new set of behaviors to learn, they're not easy yet.  It will take time for them to become habit and for me to not slip up and make eye contact when we're just sitting at home talking, or whatnot.  It's really going to be difficult to not speak until spoken to while we're in kink public, I'm chatty and I love to talk to him.  There are other behaviors, which I may (with permission) list here at some point, that I have to learn.

It is amazing what I've taken for granted over the years.  Something as simple as eye contact was once required and is now a privilege.  I believe this is a good behavior for me to learn.  I have used my eyes often to lay down a challenge to his authority.  I've abused the privilege, to say the least.

I know it's all shiny and new and the shine will wear off eventually, but I am excited about this new phase in our lives.  I am excited about learning new, more respectful, behaviors.