It Was a Good Day

Yesterday was spent with the Boss and my Sir. It was a great day, we had fun, we cuddled, we teased each other, and fooled around. The Boss and my Sir are developing a nice rapport, it's fun and rewarding to watch this happening.

I love being with both of them and being able to spend "group" time. My relationships with them may be a v-type triad with me as the joining point but we're still a unit. What one person does affects the entire unit. The unit needs to spend time together to develop rapport, trust, and comfort. They both need to be able to trust that the other is taking care of me and treating me well and that the other isn't harboring jealousy or resentments.

I need to see them together, getting along, and developing some sort of bond or friendship for my own peace of mind. Knowing that they genuinely like each other goes a long way toward helping me relax and not worry about creating jealousies and resentments in either of them. I work at keeping things even and balanced, I try to not neglect either of them. Actually my Sir gets the short end of the stick more often than not now that I'm working full-time. I need to fix that as best I can so our relationship doesn't wither and die from lack of attention.

Poly isn't easy. Sometimes I think this type of poly is more difficult than others. We don't all live together so we don't have the benefit of having a lot of face time to deepen bonds.

I haven't even covered my/our relationship with m'Lady. Granted, our relationship with her isn't sexual or romantic but it's still a close, intimate relationship. She's family and I answer to her as a dominant partner, her opinions matter a great deal to us. We wouldn't consider adding another to the relationship unless they clicked with her too.

We never set out to be this way, it just happened. All we can do is try to keep up and make it work. There is no set model, no guidebooks, no instruction manuals, not really. How many people are in a multiple dominant, single submissive dynamic? Honestly, very few. I do value those who are in D/s poly dynamics, that are outspoken online, no matter what their dynamic looks like. It helps to see how others interact, what pitfalls they come across, and how they manage their relationships.

Sometimes I feel like I'm so far out of what society views as "normal" that I'm jumping without a parachute. I can't tell my family or my kids about the other loves in my life. I can't share that with anyone but our intentional family and my D/s lifestyle friends. It gets pretty lonely sometimes.