Lately Master has seemed very unhappy and I'm partly the cause. He's getting burned out from doing his job and, what was once, my job too. In the past, before I worked in the evening, I'd run the kids wherever they needed to go. I'd cook dinners, do dishes, etc. His only responsibility when he got home was to help out with dinner if he chose to and to help HRS with her homework.
I'm sure he misses being served every evening as much as I miss doing it for him. It seems like with me working evenings we've drifted pretty far apart from our roles as Master and slave. Our two-year collaring anniversary was yesterday, we celebrated by having a bit of a row. Nice huh?
I feel like I've asked too much of him but I'm SO close to finishing, just hang in there with me through winter, that's all. We've gone this far it would be a shame, a crime really, to not see it through to the end. Then I can at least work during the day, if not at home. I wish he could see the "prize" the way I do, it's there, tangible for me. If it weren't for the certain knowledge that I'm almost there, I'd be closer to being burned out myself. I have days where I lack the energy to do much of anything and where I'm grumpy as all heck, but I try to keep those days to a minimum. But I think it's easier for me because I'm the one that chose this, it's my schooling. He's sort of helpless and just along for the ride. Granted, he could have told me to give up school for now, it's within his realm of authority, but he wouldn't have done that for a variety of reasons foremost being that he loves me and wants to see me happy.
I just feel so helpless and so at fault for his current state of misery. I want to fix it and I can't do so in the immediate future.
I just hope the little things I can do are enough. I worry that he'll fold under the stress, gods know I've been there and I know how he feels. I just hope that he can find a little hope and a little faith to see him through this with me.
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