Have I ever mentioned that I really dislike conflict? Well, I do.
There is a lot of conflict on our local group's list right now and it's getting me down. No matter what I say it or how I phrase things, my words are being taken and twisted. As a board member I find myself stuck. I can't rebut anything because my words will continue to be twisted and used against me. At this point I don't know why I even bothered to respond to any of it. I thought I was helping. I really felt a sense of satisfaction from being in a leadership position, I felt as if I were filling a need. It seems like the only need I'm filling right now is easy target.
So what's the point? I want for all the board members to step back and encourage the complaintants to step up and show what they can do. If we're doing such a bad job of it, show us what you can do. That's how I feel like responding but I won't. Why? Because again, my words will be twisted to mean something I didn't intend. Plus it's just not nice and I do try to be nice even when I don't want to be.
I'm just at my wit's end with this issue. Do dominants have an easier time of it when they're in positions of leadership? I wonder if some of my frustration and upset is coming from being in a position that isn't natural to me.
I'll be honest; I've nearly had it with this group. We can't offer much because the bulk of the membership can barely be bothered to show up when an event is planned thereby leaving the board to cover the expense. The same people end up serving on the board every year because no one else will step forward to take up the responsibility yet they feel quite comfortable criticizing what we do and how we do it. Yeah, that's nice. Really.
Anyway, this is one worn out little slave girl who really wishes people would grow up and either put up or shut up.
