Monday, April 25, 2005

Reconnecting and more

I don't know what to say. That's why I haven't written anything for a few days. I'm busy with school well, trying to be busy anyway. I have a hard time motivating myself some days. Master has been busy with work. When we find a few moments here and there where we can connect, intermingle our worlds, and just be, we take full advantage of them.

This weekend was full of such moments. We spent much time lounging around together, happy to just touch each other. We also went to dinner and saw a movie. And of course, we had lots of good sex.

I got to surprise him Saturday night by talking slightly dirty to him in the car. I surprised myself too, the words tripped off my tongue as naturally as if I were talking about the weather. I've always been so self-conscious and uncomfortable about speaking in front of others. But there I was, sitting in the dark car next to him talking about how I thought he might enjoy slipping his hands down my panties and touching my silky smooth pussy. I'm blushing now, thinking about how I really said that.

It felt good to reconnect like that, especially after all the stress we've had. I'm still aching for a cathartic beating but as long as I have this extra back pain, he won't give it to me. He told me yesterday that he wanted to beat me but that once he saw me having a bad back pain day he decided I was in enough pain.

Last night I felt disappointed and a little upset that he hadn't even mentioned wanting to beat me until after he'd decided to not do it. He gently reminded me that it's his right to make decisions like that and that he doesn't have to tell me anything if he chooses not to do so. Thinking back, he's been doing that a little more frequently lately, telling me that it's his right to do this or that etc. I think I like it. It's not so subtle reminder of my position.

It's a good thing he's looking out for my health because, given the choice, I would disregard my back pain and take whatever pain play he could dish out.

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