Exposed

It came as a surprise to me yesterday after I'd gotten out of the shower when Master, lying on the bed relaxing, ordered me to turn around and expose my anus to him. I had to spread each cheek open and jut my behind out, "as if you're presenting it to me" he said.

It was difficult to switch from a routine that I feel compelled to complete, to complying with Master's request, which is also compelling.

I must have turned several different shades of red as I did this. He oohed and ahhed behind me as I complied. I stood there for a short time then I continued on with my after shower routine, get dressed and do my hair.

Short though it was, that moment stayed with me throughout the day and even into bedtime. I laid there and thought about the effect his simple command had on me.

I felt objectified in a way I'd never felt it before. I felt so thoroughly exposed, though he's seen every inch of my flesh many times. I felt vulnerable, owned, embarrassed, and confused.

Why confused? I enjoyed a situation and feelings that I never thought I'd enjoy; I've got some serious issues with humiliation. But this was done in a way and in a setting, which made it a positive experience. I think in part, it played into my exhibitionist tendencies which made it easier to cope with. It was private, intimate, a simple act to please my Master.

Though I fantasized about being made to repeat the experience in front of others, I'm not sure it would be as positive as the private experience was. It would lack the intimacy and, for lack of a better word, specialness that the private moment had.

In private it was a serious moment of submission for me. I had to drop everything I was doing and do something that was emotionally charged simply because my Master told me to, something that I would normally shy away from and actually have in the past.

Some part of me thinks that continued inspections like yesterday's would be a good thing. Yet, I think that they'd be much more effective done at random. Somehow I think, knowing my Master as I do he'd prefer doing it at random, if he chose to continue inspecting me. Doing it at random has the element of a mindf*ck which he so very much enjoys. I don't know if he's actually said it, but I'm pretty sure his favorite bit of me to play with is my mind.