Acceptance and Celebration

This article is excellent and got my mental juices flowing again.

Unlike some, my embracing of SM felt natural. It didn't feel dirty and I didn't have guilt over it, it was simply another facet of myself that I'd uncovered and given a name to. Embracing my submissive self, however, was a little more difficult.

It was difficult only because I had to unlearn all the garbage my mother taught me. I've mentioned it elsewhere in my journal, I'm sure, that my mother was a single parent who had little use for men. She's not quite a man-hater but she's very close. She raised us girls to be independent, to dislike and distrust men (as if our early experiences with men were reason enough to write of the species), she raised us to be domineering women.

I had to unlearn all of that plus my inherent distrust of men that I developed due to childhood abuses. Once I got past that I felt so unburdened, light, free. It was truly a homecoming for me. I came home to my real self.

The above-linked article reminded me that it isn't this easy for everyone. It reminded me how tenuous our position in society is and it makes me angry that so many of us have to hide who we really are for fear of losing jobs, losing children, or in general fear of being ostracized. In this light, I applaud and admire those few of us who are courageous enough to be public about who they are, to be out.

I do what I can for the local community, taking care that I don't put myself too out there so as not to cause problems for our children. Master is more out than I am, but I think, his being the type of person he is affords him more slack from others. Perhaps I'm letting societal pressure to be "normal" dictate my behavior outside safe zones such as the privacy of our bedroom or gatherings with lifestyle friends. I'll have to think on that a bit more.

Mostly, what the above-linked article reminded me of is this, we have a lot to celebrate, we have a lot to be thankful for. There are many who die without ever having been able to fully be themselves, even in private.