Hanging with Friends

There was an article in this month's issue of Simply Service that really got me to thinking. The author stated that we don't often take enough time for ourselves to recharge the batteries. I found myself nodding my head while reading the article. It's true for me at least and probably Master too. Neither of us really gets, or takes, the time to recharge.

So last night Master and I went out with some lifestyle friends. It wasn't anything special, just sitting at a bar and chatting, but it was nice. I enjoyed the down time. I didn't have to manage the kids, didn't have to do much but make sure Master had a drink when he wanted one and enjoy the conversation.

It was nice to be with like-minded people where I could be totally myself without worry. I'm looking forward to the public play party that we're going to attend next weekend. We're going as spectators, total tourists, not doing a thing to organize or work the party. That, I think, will be very relaxing.

Just before we started getting ready for our evening out Master decided to give me a bit of a spanking. I was in heaven! I don't know when it happened but at some point I began to really enjoy spankings quite a lot. The best part was seeing Master's rather obvious display of his enjoyment (he was nude). It's just too bad we didn't have more time because I would have dearly loved to show him my appreciation for the spanking.

I told him on the way home from the bar that seeing him erect after giving me a spanking really reaffirmed for me that he enjoys spanking me. All the time spent with M flogging or spanking me just because I needed it sort of screwed me up a bit. It's important to me that I'm not getting something simply because I want, or need, it. If that's the case I'd rather not have it, that seems like too much control to me.

I understand that my dominant partners do want to see me happy (and I appreciate that) but I don't want them to do things that they don't like in order to make me happy. It seems then as if they're serving me, my needs and wants over theirs, and that leaves me not feeling as if I'm submitting and worse, I feel as if they're unable to master me. In fact, M (who did give me pain play only because I needed it despite his not really enjoying it) wasn't really able to master me. It's kind of ironic now, after several years of no pain play between us, that he's finding a bit of the sadist in himself whenever we're together.

At any rate, I'm glad Master enjoys spanking me and pain play in general. I'm also glad he doesn't always give it to me when I ask for it. It's comforting to me that he maintains control.