Humility and Pride

I was reading Slavecraft last night and came across an essay about humility. In it the author talked about pride being a negative thing for him and his slavehood. He also talked about humility being a goal for him as a slave. Some of the examples were not taking credit for work he's done, sitting on the most uncomfortable chairs and leaving the comfy ones for the Master he serves, etc.

Imagine, if you will, my brain screeching to a halt at these words. I don't think pride is a negative thing unless one becomes cocky or arrogant and I don't understand the line of thinking that says it is negative in and of itself. I take pride in doing a job well, this feeds into my self-esteem and self-confidence which leads to me being mentally healthy and happy. I guess I just don't understand how a person can't have even just a teensy bit of pride, for me it's a natural reaction when I've done a job well.

For me, the whole pride as a negative smacks of my Baptist beginnings which tried to convince me I was evil because I was female. *note: I am not making generalizations about all Baptists this was just my experience in one church* So maybe I'm having a knee-jerk reaction to the essay on humility and I need to give it another read without the filters.

Right now my ideas on the subject feel very solid. Pride, in moderation, is a good thing. I didn't always take pride in myself, I didn't care how I looked, I can only describe my previous appearance as dumpy. I wore any old thing, the baggier the better, and I didn't do much with my hair. When I see old pictures of myself I just want to burn them. I really looked horrid and what's worse, I remember how awful I always felt. It took years to build my self-esteem up to what it is now and part of that process involved learning to take a little pride in myself and in the things I did. Another part of the process has involved my learning to accept compliments, I had no concept of my self-worth.

I'm not saying that I think humility is a bad thing either, I think humility is the balance for pride, it keeps us from becoming arrogant or cocky.

My lack of understanding of the author's viewpoint is likely due to the type of owner I belong to and the way we came to M/s. He encourages me to retain my personhood, I'm not sure he'd like me if I were more humble, and possibly self-effacing. He seems to enjoy my spirited, cheeky, and passionate nature and even does things to invoke each aspect at certain times.

I guess it's only natural, when confronted with another way of doing things, to examine one's own way of doing things to see if there's something that could be improved. Maybe it's only natural for me. That's what I'm doing right now, looking for that which needs improved. However, unless Master says otherwise, I don't think I'm giving up the bit of pride I have in myself and the things I do.