I realized last night that it'd been a while since I'd posted here. I lay there in bed thinking about the service I'd just performed for Master and decided perhaps I should put those thoughts in print.

At first I was reluctant to perform any sexual service, I wasn't in the mood. During the week my libido peeks in the afternoon and then goes into hibernation during and after work. So, when Master stripped and got into bed I began to dread having to finally go to him. I just wanted to curl up in bed with my new book and relax. I actually tried to put it off and hoped he'd get tired of waiting for me. I know, bad slave.

Eventually I got my head in the right place and began stroking his cock soft and slow just the way he likes it. Once he was erect I began to get into it myself. I thrilled in the feel of his cock in my hand, it feels like iron wrapped in warm velvet. I felt awed to be holding his cock, it seems so powerful to me, so forceful, and demanding. I love it.

I delighted in his soft gasps and the way his entire body tensed up in anticipation of orgasm. A tingling began between my legs when he said "Swallow me". By the time I'd finished I was raring to go. In the past I'd have pouted and been upset because he "teased" me and left me "hanging". But last night, none of that, I was just happy to have made him feel good. It's weird the way my brain works sometimes.

I just wish I could change my reaction to performing sexual service when I'm not in the mood. At times like that I momentarily forget that it isn't about me. I'd like to feel that happy-to-please-him goodness before and after but for now I'll settle for being able to hold my tongue and not express my lack of desire.