I've noticed that a lot of folks who aren't participants in M/s, are either baffled or uncomfortable, or both, at the thought of giving (or even taking) so much control to another person as is done in M/s relationships.
This is something I understand. I had a lot of fears and misunderstandings when I was just beginning my kinky explorations. I couldn't even begin to fathom giving up that much control to another person. It actually scared me to think about it and I held very tightly to my own control and kept a nice list of limits just to be safe.
When you see the vast information about M/s on the Web and not a lot of real life experience to balance it, it can seem daunting or even crazy. There are lists of rules a mile long out there intended for slaves with no mention of the responsibilities of the master and no mention of daily life. These lists, in my opinion, can make M/s appear unrealistic ,and even unsafe, and insane.
It took getting to know some real time slaves and masters to overcome my fear of slavery. Why overcome it? Because I was drawn to it, I craved a deeper control a deeper sense of belonging, I needed to be owned. So, I had a good reason to overcome my fears.
What is wrong with showing the real life side of M/s? It isn't all about how the slave takes a beating with dignified stoicism, it isn't all about serving gracefully in the nude. It's about the exchange of power, it's about trust. Even if there isn't romantic love, it's still a partnership where two people are working toward a common goal.
Is it possible, that if M/s were presented realistically that there would be less cause for fear and misunderstanding? I'd like to think so. I know seeing realistic presentations eased my fears and actually facilitated my understanding.
2 comments:
I do think that there are a number of realstic views of M/s out there but I think most people skip them because they really do want to hear the fantasy even though the thought of it might scare them. The reality of it -- just makes them go oh you are like me. Because when you explain it realitistcally - the subtlness that M/s is not usually in the description.
I get asked all the time "what is a typical day" for me as a slave. And when I answer that question I tell them they will be bored to tears. I ended up writing it as an essay for a newletter. But it showed a typical day for me - not naked or caged - but cleaning house, making dinner. It did not show the protocols and dynamic that Master and I have because it is so subtle.
Good point danae, I hadn't thought about that.
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