Recently on my local group's discussion list there has been talk of protocol. So far I'm seeing only dominants weighing in about how submissives and slaves should be expected to behave.
I wonder if they believe that dominants should be held to certain standards of behavior as well or if they believe that dominants are infallible simply because they choose to call themselves dominant.
Protocol, in this slave's opinion, is a set of societally dictated behaviors. Etiquette is protocol, so too are certain modes of address, and behavior, etc. Our local group has not adopted any protocols other than basic respect and common courtesy. These are expected of all members be they dominant, submissive, or something in between.
Sometimes the idea of more formal protocols, such as specific modes of address from submissives to dominants, is appealing. However, our group will not likely adopt more formal protocols as we pride ourselves on being relaxed and welcoming to all. I'm not sure how I'd feel about going into a group that expected and enforced formal protocols. I'd be concerned about those who just decide to take upon themselves the title of dominant and abuse it. I don't want to be required to show respect and deference to a person such as that.
So, any expectations of formal protocol would have to come from Master or m'Lady and I really don't think either of them are inclined to enforce such behavior.
I believe formal protocol, specifically dealing with modes of address and behavior, do have their place in the D/s and, especially, the M/s Lifestyle. They're excellent tools to reinforce one's position be it dominant or submissive. I think that being expected to act and speak a certain way would help me on those days when I'm not feeling very slave like.
I admit to wondering what it would be like to be surrounded by folks who practice and expect more formal protocols. I wonder if it would get tiring or if it would feel somehow contrived, or would I be surprised? Would it feel natural and right?
2 comments:
I've been very fascinated about protocol too, and some events in the future I believe CROP will have 'protocol events.'
Of course then you have to define what protocol will be enforced and make sure that everyone knows what it is before hand. I don't think the group at large would be invited to such an event. I would hope that I am there :)
Private protocol is great, I'd like Master to have more with me than I do (which is about nada). The reinforcement of positions is what a lot of submissives and Dominants really go for.
--luna
I've had the pleasure/honor of being invited, with my Master, to attend and serve at a formal dominant's dinner. We were all instructed as to what protocols would be in use and in the case of the submissives, we were given a chance to practice before beginning. I highly recommend attending such an affair if given the opportunity.
For me it was very restrictive yet freeing, the only things I was responsible for were serving in the required manner and maintaining silence and position. All in all, an experience I'd like to repeat with some regularity.
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