I wish I were her. I grew up watching that show wanting so much to be just like her; powerful, confident, able to do it all. Unfortunately, I'm human, not a superhero.
I keep trying to do it all and finding disappointment when I'm overwhelmed and left drowning by the waves of building responsibilities. Other people are able to juggle school, work, and family and even manage a social life, I should be able to do that too. Right? Wrong. For some reason I can't handle more than school, family, and very part-time social life. I can't even tread water much less swim if I do more than that.
For some reason it feels like a failure. I guess I still have unrealistic expectations of myself.
I tried to work in addition to planning to go back to school this summer after a three month long enforced hiatus due to financial aid cancellation. I won't be working just yet after all. While I'm relieved that I don't have to try to manage work just yet, I'm worrying over financial aid and whether I'll get what I need. I'm also scared that I won't be able to handle the three classes I'm registered for. In all my college history, every time I tried to take three classes I got overwhelmed and ended up dropping one. Two classes were just right and I did exceedingly well. So much rides on whether or not I do well this term.
Gods help me do well and help me handle my courses. I wish this stress would just go away. I've tried all the usual methods of relaxation and nothing is working. I'm increasingly irritable and anxious. I'd like a vacation right about now.
