"Normal" Or "Abby Normal"?

How much SM should a masochist need in a given month? Really, is there a "should" or a "limit" to what is acceptable need?

What if said masochist hasn't had SM play for a couple of months and gets a bit frenzied about wanting to play again? Is that unhealthy? Does it mean it's too extreme and running said masochist's life?

Definition from Dictionary.com:

mas·och·ism

   /ˈmæsəˌkɪzəm, ˈmæz-/ Show Spelled[mas-uh-kiz-uhm, maz-] Show IPA

–noun

1.

Psychiatry . the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.

2.

gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

3.

the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.

4.

the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

I'm starting to question myself and my masochism and wonder if there's something wrong with me. My Sir thinks I'm unhealthy because if it's been a while I do get frenzied and crave to play to a point where I'm wanting extreme pain play. It was never a problem in the past, Alan was always able to meet my need because it suited his own at the time. Thus he accepted me as I was and didn't think there was anything wrong with me. He still doesn't even though his path has changed some.

My Sir doesn't seem to be able to accept my masochism needs because they are a bit beyond his own comfort zone. I sometimes wonder if this is why he judges me as unhealthy when I get frenzied about pain play.

Now though, now I'm just wondering if there's something wrong with me. I'm questioning that which I accepted in myself before as being normal, the way I'm wired. I've been actively masochistic since I was 13 or 14. I'm nearly 40 now, so it's been a long time, to say the least.

I'd ask my shrink but I'm guessing her response would be "none is normal". My therapist is so vanilla I think she'd suggest I go into inpatient treatment if I mentioned it to her. I need to know from other masochists, from sadists even. People who understand this need.

I don't like being unsure of myself, I really don't like questioning myself. I was happy and content with just accepting myself and not thinking there was something wrong with me. Now I wonder.