Last night Master was telling me about things he was planning on doing with me, things that will take me into uncomfortable territory. He asked me more than once if it made me nervous. I can't honestly say that I felt nervous.
My trust in him is that complete. I trust him to take me in and bring me through any experience. My life is his to mold as he sees fit, my body is his to use as he sees fit. That is what it means to me to be his slave. I don't need to be nervous because I know he won't do anything to or with me that will cause physical or mental harm. He has demonstrated that many times over.
Looking back at who I used to be and seeing just how far I've come in the realm of personal growth is pretty satisfying. Just two or three years ago I wouldn't have been capable of trust this deep. I wasn't ready.
This isn't to say that I don't still have trust issues because I do. I don't trust everyone the way I trust Master. I sometimes feel that I'm stingy and selfish with my trust and maybe I am in some ways. I still feel I have good reason to be. To trust is to open yourself up for hurts and sometimes the hurts are so great that they threaten to break you. No one wants to experience that level of hurt, especially if they've already been there before.
On the flip side of that, when you're able to trust you open yourself up for love and companionship. The more trust you give the more you open up, making room for more love. It's a leap of faith, to trust someone; you can't always see where you're going to land. Thank the Gods that I landed on the firm ground of Master's love and integrity.
