You know, I tried. I tried to go to class today. I was in a good mood and felt fine.
Then I went outside and began clearing off my car, the ice off the windows and the snow. I worked hard, became exhausted, and had little to show for it.
Time ticked by and I suddenly realized that I'd be late to my first class. I hate being late, everyone looks at you as you walk in with those inquisitive eyes, the ones that ask "So what kept you?"
Then it hit me, this disgustingly apathetic, I don't give a rodent's rectum, kind of mood. I just don't feel like being anywhere or doing anything today. The weather is awful; I want the warm days we had last week, and for pity's sake! Quit snowing! I can handle rain; I can handle dreary, gray skies. I'm full up on snow just now, keep it, I don't need it.
Some of what I'm feeling feels a bit like depression. I had some mild panic and anxiety yesterday afternoon so it stands to reason that I could very well be starting another depression cycle. Gads I hope not. I'm on enough meds and I absolutely H-A-T-E what they do to me. The last one I was on made me feel like I was detached from my body. It was very disconcerting to say the least. There was also that little problem with orgasming, couldn't do it very well if at all.
So here I sit with a warm blanket over my lap waiting for warmer weather.
