Firsts

Last night was a night of firsts. First post-op orgasm, first time Master has stuck a finger in my bottom in many, many moons. He keeps threatening to have more than a finger in my bottom before I'm cleared for vaginal sex again.

I hope he's just threatening, he keeps telling me that before the end of my healing I'm going to be so hungry for his cock inside me that I'll take it anywhere as long as I can have it. I keep telling him he's full of it, it's not going to happen but I'm afraid he's right. I'm afraid it's true. I've been so aroused, frisky, horny, since Wednesday and until last night, frustrated too. I'm still somewhat frustrated, the orgasm was good, excellent even but it wasn't all I needed. I need to be f*cked, I need to feel his cock deep inside me as he shudders through his orgasm, buried as far inside me as he can be. We're both aching for that I think.

Still, anal sex? Me? It's not as if I haven't done it before and actually enjoyed it once upon a time. But that was before. Before my digestive issues got as bad as they are. Before anal sex left me with an upset stomach. Sometimes I feel like an invalid, broken, dysfunctional. Blah!

Yet, the thought of all his attempts at persuasion and possible, eventual, success is titillating. For a few moments it would feel SO good. I know it would make him feel good, satisfied. But is it worth it? That's the million dollar question.

Last night I thought the post-orgasm cramps were worth the relief of sexual tension. Today, I'm not so sure. It's possible that I'm going to hurt anyway because I've been weaning myself off the pain meds somewhat. Can't function at work when you're doped up from pain meds and it certainly isn't safe to drive that way.

So, would the possible satisfaction we'd both feel if we have anal sex be worth the intestinal discomfort I'd have afterwards? I can't answer that but I have a feeling I will find that answer sooner rather than later. We're both very sexual people and this enforced abstinence is, well, difficult.