Correction

One of my biggest failings as a slave, and possibly as a wife, is that I correct him whenever I think he is wrong. How presumptuous and rude is that?

I don't do it to lord anything over him, not even to show superiority. It is done without thought, instinctively. I see that as a huge failing in myself as a slave. The smart alec remarks he forgives, he expects and dare I say it, enjoys them. We've always sparred verbally, it's playful and fun for us. However, he doesn't enjoy my corrections and I need to learn to stop making them without his permission.

I tried once today, I caught myself and asked if I could make a suggestion. It seemed to go well, he granted permission for my suggestion, I made it and that was that. No tension, no feeling as if I were stepping on his toes after that tight look he gets around his eyes when I've irritated him.

I need to remember that he doesn't need my correction and to correct him is disrespectful. I like the idea of asking permission to make suggestions and I think he liked it when I did so today.

It would be ideal if he could discipline me when I overstep my bounds but given that there are always little eyes around watching us it isn't normally possible. By the time we are alone I think we're both ready for a bit of sex and sleep and neither of us is thinking about discipline. I'm sure that's the last thing he wants to do before bed, it would only serve to wind him up instead of relax him.

That makes things really difficult and I guess that's where I start feeling unslavelike. I have to be self-correcting/disciplining so much of the time. I don't mean that I shouldn't have self-discipline and self-control but his discipline of me helps to reinforce things. I'm having a hard time coming up with a good analogy for this. I guess I'd liken it to animal training, whenever there's a behavior you want to teach or deter you have to spend a certain amount of time reinforcing commands and rewarding appropriate behavior. After a while, the animal is able to act and react as expected almost instinctively. I want to be well-trained like that but I can't train myself.

We need to have a chat I think.