So yesterday I had what amounts to a fit over something pretty minor. While Master was retrieving his glasses from the shelf over the commode a few of my hair ties and such got knocked into the commode.
It really upset me because I don't have that many and it's taken a while to get them because I don't ask very often for little things. I wouldn't hear of washing them off and just told him to throw them away. It may seem silly but there are bacteria that live in toilets, even the cleanest of toilets, and thinking about wearing things in my hair that had been in the toilet was just disgusting.
I ended up blaming him for being careless and in general making him feel badly for something that was an accident. I felt as if he'd been ignoring everything I said simply because he felt he knew better. To explain, I close the lid on the toilet before I get into the shower or whenever I'm going to be getting anything off the shelf as a means of preventing accidents like what happened yesterday. I have asked him several times to close the lid before he gets into the shower and every time, he leaves the lid up. (yeah I know, I should close the lid if I want it closed) Obviously, as his slave I should be closing that toilet lid but as his wife I feel like it's a matter of common courtesy. So, I have a hard time separating the two and shutting the wife side up.
I really got on a tirade that I shouldn't have even started, it was unfair and simply uncalled for. I realized that after I'd calmed down and we talked about it. Feel like a jerk? Me? Yep.
I'm really trying to learn how to not blow minor things up into major things. It's really a credit to Master that he didn't jump to the defensive and kept things from getting worse. He's become a calming influence which is really something considering how hot his temper once was.
I feel like a complete a$$ and would like to formally apologize to him. I am sorry Master for being a jerk, it was an accident and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.
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