I have a great love of Mehndi or henna tattooing. I love the way it looks and I'm even kind of partial to the scent of the henna paste and the lingering scent in the skin afterwards. One sniff reminds me of the fun I had creating the designs that adorn my flesh for such a short time.
One problem, Master really doesn't like the look of Mehndi. Yet, he gives me permission to do it if I want to.
The simple knowledge that he doesn't like it prevents me from doing it. It's simple; I want to be pleasing to him in all things. That includes my appearance. As soon as it was long enough I began again to style my hair in the way he likes, the pre-haircut style.
I don't think it's such a bad thing, to want to be pleasing. I don't think it's bad either to forego doing something that will change my appearance, even temporarily, if he won't like it.
He seems to get exasperated with me when I say I don't want to do something that I may enjoy because he doesn't like it. What did he expect when he took me on as his slave? Wanting to please and be found pleasing is an inherent part of my nature; this has only intensified since he collared me as his slave. I take it to heart if I do something that displeases him and I work to improve whatever it is.
Maybe this is a case where I need to learn to accept that sometimes it's okay to do something he may not like if he gives me permission to do so. I really do enjoy Mehndi.
