As the days passed and we got closer and closer to Saturday, to Christmas day, my focus became more and more narrow. Service became second nature; it flowed out of me as from an upended pitcher.
I've never felt more centered, or more right as I have for these last few days. Saturday I kicked into slave autopilot, I cleaned and prepared the house for our guests. I began cooking then, my focus was preparing a delicious meal for everyone. At one point during the cooking my mother wanted some almond bark pretzels, I was in the middle of cooking but told her "Just a second and I'll get you some." I quickly finished what I was doing and got a saucer and served her some of the pretzels. Then I got her something to drink. Seeing that she was satisfied I went back to work. It went like this for the rest of the evening, me cooking and taking a moment to get something for someone. I felt in my element, seeing to our guests' comfort.
During a lull in the activity Master wrapped his arm around me and told me I was doing a good job. It felt good to hear those words. There were a few wrinkles but I didn't let them ruin the day for me and neither did anyone else.
The cooking of the meal was a group effort, everyone helped out and together we made it great. The food tasted excellent but it was made even better by the company we shared it with.
Despite my worries and concerns, my mother behaved herself and even seemed happy to be here. The children all got along well until the very end when Little Miss Rain cloud (our oldest daughter) came back from a trip out with Master to drop of Zboy at his girlfriend's house to find that HRS (Her Royal Shortness) had the cousins in their bedroom playing and that one cousin had gotten into her things. Nothing was said until everyone had gone home and then LMR let loose with a torrent of anger at us and at HRS. I'm happy to say that with some space and a good night's sleep, LMR seems to have gotten over it and has made peace with HRS.
I'm still feeling very centered tonight. I feel as if I've further internalized my slavery. It feels more natural.
Saturday morning I was worried about serving Master in front of my family, but when it came down to it, I didn't hesitate and no one batted an eyelash. I could have chickened out; Master offered me an out by offering to fix his own plate. But I didn't want that, I wanted to serve my Master as I always do. I'm proud of being owned by him and I take a lot of pleasure in being able to serve him.
